We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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