Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
