Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize