Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
