Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
