Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
