So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
FUCK WHALES
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
