The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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