we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize