i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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