I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
