I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
