Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
bring money and cleavage
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
