Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
