Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
