I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
