He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
