i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
