dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
