whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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