yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
