Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
