when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
