he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
