So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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