Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
