Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
