thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
