Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
