I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
