That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
