Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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