Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You took a bar mat shot.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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