every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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