we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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