i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
