hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Randomize
