Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
