Four minutes until I can fart!
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
