He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize