Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
