you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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