adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
