1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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