Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
