You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
