What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
