belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
