Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
