what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
