How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
