She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
