You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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