R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i think i have herpe
just one?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize