Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize