Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
