I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
