my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I wear drunk well.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
