Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
