the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
