All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
