my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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