"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
