Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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