took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
