I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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