I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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